


Confused Schematics

by jer832



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Light Angst, POV Alternating, POV Rose, POV The Doctor (Doctor Who)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2015-11-07
Packaged: 2018-04-30 11:26:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5162138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jer832/pseuds/jer832
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She's a fire in his brain and his blood and his groin that he can't put out</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confused Schematics

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bloose09](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloose09/gifts).



>    
> This year's theme for the holiday ficathon at the adult comm [Bad Wolf Rising](http://bad-wolf-rising.livejournal.com/1290502.html) is _shag or die_ , which nudged my mind to this story.
> 
> Then teawithlemon commented that she could tell immediately that she was in Nine's head, I wondered how different it would be inside Ten's head. "Revised Schematics" is posted [HERE](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5782546)

~~~~~~ 

 

 

 Confused Schematics

 

He closes his eyes and the image comes easily. Rose and he are wrapped in each other's arms and on each other's lips.  It's as clear to him as the schemata drifting on the console screen— clearer, actually; he's learned that images drawn with the palette of love upon a canvas of desire are truer than mathematical representations of Reality.  Like the schemata, when he and Rose begin to move, time and space fade to background. The choreography of their private dance is raw passion, the melody carnal and divine. Their joy is etched in every curve and line and angle as their bodies merge in a covenant of slow sure movement.

 

In his hearts Rose burns brighter than a supernova, and with dreams of sheer audacity he sees himself naked in her arms, naked in her light, naked in her love. All the words he's ached to say have been said, every secret hope given voice, and the love that revived his soul fully bared.  His faults and fears, consumed by her fire, are nothing more than ashes dissipating through a compassionate cosmos.  In his audacity he is hers and Rose loves him.

 

Rose Tyler burns brighter than a supernova.  She's a fire in his brain and his blood and his groin that he can't put out and might not want to even if he could. He thinks that Rose could be both signal fire and hearth fire to him, and it terrifies him. It terrifies him even more how very much he aches for it—this exquisite agony of want and need reminds him what life could be. Behind the smart façade of casual impressiveness that he has so carefully erected is a scared and hopeless dreamer.

 

In taking Rose's hand he thereby keeps himself in her orbit.  But he is always hidden from her and lost to himself.  Coward that I am, he thinks, one day I will die of wanting her.

 

~~

 

She aches with loving him. She dreams of him every night, and when he leaves her to amuse herself, alone she fantasizes.  The unhurried, confident movement of the Doctor's cool lips against her neck and throat, along her jaw …  his clever tongue delving between her lips and the low groan of hunger spiced with joy as it collides with hers.  The feel of him stirring against denim.  How his breath will hitch when she frees and caresses him.  She imagines that they will sigh against each other's newly bared skin, tremble with each touch. He will grow and harden as her deft fingers map his contours, and her lips and tongue learn his taste. His essence will bloom sweet and salty in her mouth, divine.  She _knows_ he will be divine. He’ll whisper her name with such desire and love that she'll be incapable of any thought beyond the moment's burning need. And when he slides into her and their bodies begin to move it will be pure ecstasy.

 

Sometimes she dreams that the Doctor takes her slowly.  Other times that his passion overcomes him.  Sometimes she takes him.  She imagines glorious frenzy and soft worshipful caresses. She imagines him smiling with his lips and his eyes, with…  yes, with all of his body.  She dreams the joy of holding him, his body sated, his face serene. His thoughts are untroubled and his soul at peace, and she adores him as he sleeps.

 

The fires of the universe haven't burned away his darkness, but she dreams she will love it away.  The Doctor may never love her, though silly girl that she is she spends hours daydreaming that he does.  He's told her that he sees the universe afresh through her eyes. She wants to make him see himself afresh, through her eyes—she's realized that she aches for the Doctor to love himself as much as she aches for him to love her.  She dreams she is his lover, daydreams she is his lover and saviour. Asleep and awake, she can't imagine life without him in it.

 

The Doctor stands next to her. Their fingers entwine but nothing more. He is always a universe away and she is always only dreaming. And wanting him, loving him, and not having him is killing her.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> bloose09 my dear friend, I wrote this for you. I tried to give you everything you'd want ... Nine, Rose, love, angst... though no actual smut, sorry my dear. I'm pretty sure that you will chuckle a bit at what I did with the _Shag-or-Die_ thing. I don't believe the emotions are over the top, but then I didn't have you to counsel me or add any delightfully snarky annotation.  
>     
> Feel better. Get better. Thoroughly, completely, joyfully better.


End file.
